Have you ever had a hard time figuring out who you are and what you’re supposed to do with your life?
Yes, I know that is kind of a deep and serious question, but it is one that has plagued me all my life. I grew up with a sense of knowing that there is more to life, and an insatiable desire to discover the ‘more’.
I guess a part of me believed that writing a book would give me a sense of purpose. It didn’t. So, I wrote more books. However, the hunger for ‘more’ was still there. I knew I should find meaning and purpose in raising my family, but still, I wanted ‘more’. (Just being vulnerable here, folks).
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that my value is not in what I do, or how many books I write or sell. I’m not looking for affirmation, I just want confirmation that I am on the path that was set out for me. Sometimes, I look at results, numbers, other people’s feedback, and anything that would let me know: “You’re doing it, Meliza. You’re walking in your purpose.” Most times, the numbers do not add up, and I start writing question marks over what I believed the Father called me to do.
I know this is a faith walk, right? We don’t always get a neon sign. Let’s be honest, there are times when we can really do with one.
It’s been a season of question marks for me. I know I have stepped out of my boat (and my comfort zone) to follow Jesus, to do what He has asked me to do, but not feeling like I am ‘there’.
Tonight, out of the blue, He took me back to the lanterns. We sat in the little boat on the lake, like Rapunzel and Eugene (aka Flynn Ryder) in the movie, Tangled. I saw that first lantern appearing from the direction of the kingdom. It took my breath away. I knew that one was sent by my Father! Then millions of lanterns filled the sky. Lanterns sent by the citizens of the kingdom.
I looked at Jesus and I understood.
It was the lanterns that lead me to the arms of my Father. The light of His Word, and the light of the people who were brave enough to share their testimonies. People, brave enough to let their light shine. I wondered how many are out there holding onto their lanterns. Feeling like they don’t have one that is worthy of being seen.
Then He reminded me of the time I was sitting at His feet, making paper crowns. In my quiet time, I had a vision of myself, as a little girl, making paper crowns for Jesus. Using my crayons, fake jewels and feathers galore. Jesus wore it proudly. Then He handed it to the Father. The Father used these paper crowns like lanterns to call His lost children home.
Maybe, it is time to help the people in the kingdom see how beautiful their stories are. To help them decorate their paper crowns. To stand with them as they hand it to the Father and let Him use it as a lantern – a beacon to direct His beloved ones into His arms.
If that is you, then I would love to connect. Feel free to give me a shout!
But right now, I’m just that little girl at the feet of Jesus, making my paper crowns.
And that is enough.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9